De Profundis
by Obsidian3
Summary: This was my first D.E.B.S. fic, written way back in 2006. What is Amy hadn't gone with Lucy at the end of the movie? AU, obviously.
1. Chapter 1

Title: De Profundis

Author: That'd be me. *grins* Andrew, Obsidian, call me what you want. But only if it's nice. ;)

Rating: I think this'll end up staying somewhere along the T/PG-13 area.

Comments: Wow, I didn't think this would be my first D.E.B.S. fic. But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so... Well, hopefully, someone will enjoy it. It is just a bit dark, so be warned.

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own 'D.E.B.S.' That belongs to the fabulously talented Angela Robinson.

De profundis - Up from the depths (of misery)

* * *

Amy stared out at the sprawling city before her. She and her team had just wrapped up yet another mission, defeating some supervillan or other bent on world conquest. She hadn't been paying all that close attention at the briefing, not quite able to bring herself to care. All she knew was that he'd intended on starting with New York City, which the government had taken an especially dim view of, and that his plot had involved trout in some way.

It had been a year. To the day, in fact. One year since she had told Lucy to go. And she'd gone. There had been a few token attempts to get Amy's attention, but that was it. No grandiose gestures, no attempts to steal her away from her stifling existence, nothing.

So she'd swallowed her bile and read Max's speech, accepted her award, and let them use her as their poster child once again.

One year since the life that had threatened to crush her had finally succeeded.

She was supposed to be packing, she knew, for the flight back to L.A., but she could no longer summon up any enthusiasm to do even that.

Her friends. Her best friends. And they either didn't know or didn't care that this was killing her. Or perhaps, she sometimes thought, she was already dead. Perhaps she really had torn out her own heart and stomped it into paste reading that damned speech. It had certainly felt that way.

Perhaps this was hell. Her punishment for betraying Lucy.

Seven days. That was all that she'd spent with her love. But it had shown Amy that it would be impossible to live without her. But she had done just that anyway, for one year.

Three hundred and sixty-five days.

But she couldn't make it to three hundred and sixty-six.

She just couldn't.

* * *

Max smiled to herself as she closed up her suitcase. Her weapons, of course, had their own, larger, case.

She lived for this. One more lunatic taken down, one more mission completed. She and her squad would be flying back to Los Angeles shortly, knowing the world was just that much safer, because of them.

Life, quite simply, did not get any better.

Knowing by now just which Deb would require the most time and prodding to get ready, she carried her cases out of her room and walked down the hall to stop at another door. The hotel was one of the standard - one might almost say generic - places that the D.E.B.S. had them stay at on missions. Not overly expensive, but in good condition with a more-then-competent staff. Honestly, after so much time, they tended to start blurring together for Max.

She knocked on the door. "Janet! It's almost time to go!"

Janet, somewhat muffled, replied, "I just need to find my gun!"

Max sighed, glad that Janet couldn't see her fighting down a smile. Okay, where would Janet's gun most likely be? "Try under the bed, right hand side, near the top."

A long pause. "Ooh, hey! Thanks!"

She couldn't stop a chuckle. "You need to put a tracking device in that thing."

"I did." Another pause. "But I lost the tracker."

Max shook her head in fond exhasperation. "Just finish getting ready."

Dom, as always, proved easy enough to rouse. All she had to do was pound on the door a few times and call her, and she was soon rewarded with the sound of Dominique telling last night's celebration to get out.

Amy was a bit harder. No manner of knocking or yelling got her any kind of response. After a moment's hesitation, she used the master key that she had (as being squad leader did have some perks) and entered the room.

Either Amy had packed in record time, Max decided as she saw the suitcase neatly arranged on the bed, or she'd just never unpacked upon their arrival. Whichever it was, at least it meant that she wasn't going to have to fight with her teammate about being on time for their flight.

A quick search - very quick, as the rooms weren't very big - turned up Amy on the balcony. "There you are. Get in here, it's almost time to go."

"No."

She'd already been heading for the door, since she'd given the order. She was squad leader, after all, and some things just weren't discussions. And ever since the fiasco with Diamond, Amy had been unhesitating in following her orders.

The blunt refusal, therefore, came as enough of a surprise to stop her dead in her tracks. "Excuse me?"

"I said no."

Max felt her anger stirring, but also something else. There was just something... not quite right with Amy's tone. Not insubordination, as one might have expected from her words, but... She wasn't sure what. "Why not?"

"Why should I?"

It was getting harder to reign in her temper, but years of experience had (finally) taught her that it was much harder getting answers if both of you were angry and fighting. And she wanted to know just what that was in Amy's voice. "If you don't, how do you expect to get back in?"

"I'm not coming in."

Max frowned. Amy just sounded so... blank. Emotionless. Non-Amy, in other words. Frankly, it was beginning to disturb her. "Why not?"

Amy didn't answer that, instead just leaning on the metal railing that fenced in the balcony that Amy's room shared with the one next door. "I'm sorry, Max," she finally said.

"For what?" Her anger was draining away, being replaced by worry. Apathy, that's what was in her voice. A lack of concern for just about everything. But now she turned to face Max, smiling sadly, and Max could see a tear streak down her face. It didn't look like the first one, either.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted. What everyone wanted. The 'Perfect Score'. I tried, I swear I did. I tried to forget. About her, about everything. It just won't work. I can't... I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. If you don't believe anything else I've ever said, please believe that."

Her spine felt like it had been dipped in ice. She inhaled shakily as Amy turned back to face the city, the entire situation becoming crystal clear. Amy's tears, her lack of concern stemming from the fact that very soon nothing would matter, her location.

Amy was going to jump.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: De profundis (part 2/?)

Author: That'd be me. *grins* Andrew, Obsidian, call me what you want. But only if it's nice. ;)

Rating: I think this'll end up staying somewhere along the T/PG-13 area.

Comments: Wow, I didn't think this would be my first D.E.B.S. fic. But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so... Well, hopefully, someone will enjoy it. It is just a bit dark, so be warned.

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own 'D.E.B.S.' That belongs to the fabulously talented Angela Robinson.

De profundis - Up from the depths (of misery)

* * *

Max froze. Amy wasn't... No, she _couldn't_ be doing what Max was thinking. Of course, that had to be it. Amy wouldn't try to kill herself. That just... wasn't Amy.

Was falling in love with Lucy Diamond an Amy thing to do?

Max tried to hang on to her rationalization, but that one thought blew most of it away. No, falling for a criminal - and a female criminal, at that - had not been in character for Amy.

At least, not in the character that she usually presented to the D.E.B.S.

_Do you think, after Endgame, Mister P. might let me have some time off?_

Usually.

_There's this art school in Barcelona..._

"What do you think you're doing?" she blurted suddenly.

Amy looked back at her again, that same mix of sadness and relief on her face. "You know."

"No, I don't." Her voice was getting louder, as if sheer volume could make what was happening suddenly untrue. "I obviously don't, because you wouldn't do something like this!"

Amy laughed, but there was no real humor in it. "And you think you know me so well?"

_"What if she really loves her? If you were [b]really[/b] Amy's best friend, you'd probably let her go."_

"Well, maybe I want you to say it. You're really gonna do this, you look me in the eyes and tell me so."

Amy did just that. "I'm going to jump. Or, you know, fall, really. But the end result's the same, no matter what you call it."

Again, Max froze. She realized that despite everything she'd been seeing, and hearing, part of her had still been hoping that she was wildly misinterpreting the situation, that she was wrong.

She'd never thought that she'd ever hope to be wrong about something before.

"Why?" she asked, hoarsely.

"Well, it seems a bit easier then shooting myself, not to mention less of a hassle to cle-"

"Dammit, you know what I mean!" she interrupted angrily.

Amy didn't seem upset. It was as if she'd moved beyond little things like getting annoyed when Max shouted at her now. "I told you. I can't... I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. I won't."

Okay, Max thought, swallowing hard. Okay, you have to try and talk her down from this. Yes, it's not your field, and you're really not that great at dealing with emotional issues, but you're the only one here.

Damn, but she suddenly wished Janet was there.

"If you really hate the job that much," she began, "why not just quit? You could go to that art school you talked about."

Amy just shook her head, sighing, and leaned back against the railing. A little too far back for Max's comfort, but even she knew better then to make any sudden moves. "When was the last time you saw me drawing anything? At all?"

Max thought about that. After most missions, when they were on plane heading home, Amy always had a sketch pad... Except that lately she'd been listening to music, reading something, or sleeping. But when they were in L.A., Amy would... No, she'd also spent that time reading. And her off duty hours were filled with tv shows, movies, time on the internet, clubs... Sometimes, clubs with Dominique, though Amy would inevitably come home alone (the French agent would eventually turn up much later, looking rather satisfied).

Amy saw Max's hesitation and nodded. "Eight months," she filled in for her. "I haven't been able to draw anything for the last eight months. I've tried, but it just won't flow. I couldn't go to art school now if I wanted to."

Max winced. She may not have been the most sensitive person in the D.E.B.S., but she did know how much her art meant to Amy. It was her outlet, her stress relief, the valve that she poured all her frustration, happiness, anxiety, sadness, and all the other excess emotions she felt into. Without that...

Well, without that, things tended to build up. Case in point...

"And you never considered therapy? Talking to someone?"

"All anyone would have done would be to try and convince me to set everything aside, to concentrate on being the perfect agent. I don't want that. I never did."

"You seemed to like it well enough before."

"I... did like the feeling of helping people. I was good at it, too. Not perfect, though. Never perfect. And... the charm wore off, I guess. Now, there's... nothing. Max, when I wake up in the morning, I have no reason to get out of bed. None. Oh, I did it anyway, because people were counting on me, but it meant... It **means** nothing. There's nothing to look forward to. Nothing to live for."

"What about us?" The question was asked in a quieter tone then anyone had ever heard Max Brewer use before. "Janet and Dom and me. We care about you."

Amy smiled warmly, but Max still felt chilled by it. "I know. And I want you to know that it was the three of you that made this last year even remotely bearable. Without you, I don't think I would have lasted the first two months. I really did like working with you, Max. And I don't blame you for what you did. You only wanted to help me, after all, and Lucy showed just how important I _wasn't _to her." She paused. "I'm glad you're here, actually. I mean, did write a note - it's in my suitcase - but I did kind of want to say goodbye in person. I love all three of you. Always remember that."

"Amy, you can't DO this!"

"Yes, I can." She shook her head in a horrible parody of amusement. "Do you remember that mad scientist, Mack, that we ran into three months ago?"

Confused by the sudden subject change, Max nodded warily. "Of course I do. That was one of the first times we got to use the transporter unsupervised."

"Then you should also remember how the next time he caught us, he reprogrammed out comms to block the transporter's targeting scanners." Amy held up her left wrist and tapped the watch face. "Because I did."

_Damn._ She'd been hoping that she could manage to have Ms. Petrie or someone beam Amy away from the edge and into a nice, safe, ground- level room.

Trust the Perfect Score to be one step ahead in that department.

Casting about for something, anything, that would make Amy come inside, she suddenly hit on an idea that was so crazy, it just might work. "Amy," she began, but was immediately interrupted.

"Stay back!" Amy shouted, gripping the railing tightly. The unspoken message that she could hurl herself over the edge long before Max could reach her was sent and received all to clearly.

Max winced. She'd unintentionally taken a step closer when she'd started to speak. "I'm staying back," she said, keeping her hands where Amy could see them. Really, all she wanted to do was lunge across the distance separating them and drag Amy inside, but she knew it wouldn't work. Still, restraining herself was extremely hard. She clung to her desperate idea, hoping against hope that it would work. "But if you want to say goodbye, shouldn't you say it to all of us?"

"You can tell them for me," Amy said, half her attention drifting back to looking contemplatively down at the street.

_Oh, God, please let this work... _"And just what do you think I'll say?" Seeing Amy's hesitation, she pressed on. "This is ME we're talking about, Amy. If you leave it up to me, what do you think I'll tell Janet and Dom?"

Amy bit her lip uncertainly, then reluctantly nodded. "Okay. You can go get them. But **just** them." She hopped up to sit on the railing, making it clear that if someone tried to shoot her with a sedative, she'd just fall anyway. "And I won't wait forever."

"Okay, that's fine," Max assured her, trying to keep her voice level and calming. It still wobbled a bit. "Just... give me a little while to find them."

At Amy's nod, Max all but ran out of the room.

* * *

Janet had just finished packing up her suitcase - complete with the tracking device for her gun, thank you very much! - when Max burst into her room explosively. Janet yelped and fumbled her gun, but fortunately for all concerned, the safety was on, and she managed to catch it before it hit the ground. "Geez, Max!" she began, but broke off when she caught sight of the wild-eyed look on her squad leader's face.

"Do you still have Scud's phone number?" Max demanded.

Janet blinked. Then she frowned. "Are you still on about that? Look, I know he's-"

"**DO YOU HAVE IT?!**"

Janet jumped. "I- Yes. Why-?"

"Call him. Now."

"Max, what's going on?"

Max hesitated, her face looking... Janet blinked. Max looked _scared._

Max never looked scared.

"Amy's threatening to jump off the balcony."

Again, Janet blinked in surprise. "That really isn't funny, Max."

"Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?"

"But... But she's... What's...? Amy wouldn't..."

"Apparently she would, because she is. The only reason she hasn't yet is because she wants to say goodbye to the three of us in person, and she did something with her comm to keep us from beaming her away. I tried to talk to her, but it didn't work. I can't get through to her now. There's only one person who can, and we both know who that is. So I don't care what you have to do, or how many regs you have to break to do it, but get Lucy Diamond here now!"

_T__o Be Continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

Title: De profundis (part 3/?)

Author: That'd be me. *grins* Andrew, Obsidian, call me what you want. But only if it's nice. ;)

Rating: I think this'll end up staying somewhere along the T/PG-13 area.

Comments: Wow, I didn't think this would be my first D.E.B.S. fic. But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so... Well, hopefully, someone will enjoy it. It is just a bit dark, so be warned.

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own 'D.E.B.S.' That belongs to the fabulously talented Angela Robinson.

De profundis - Up from the depths (of misery)

* * *

"B...7," the computer announced.

Scud hit the mouse button with a flourish, grinning at the sudden, tinny fanfare that played over the speakers. "Hah! I am the god of online bingo," he declared to the empty room.

Sadly, he'd been getting plenty of practice at it lately. For a while now, Lucy had been acting rather... depressed. She'd barely been committing any crimes at all, and even those were only after careful examination of the targets to "see if they deserved it". Even then he sometimes had to prod her into actually doing anything. He wasn't quite sure why.

Well, that wasn't true. He knew.

_Scud, I don't know how this happened to me, but being bad doesn't feel good anymore._

Their new lair was arranged much like the L.A. one had been, except it was a bit smaller. Which they could get away with, since they didn't have to find places to put quite as many stolen good, or WAMDs - Weapons of Australian Mass Destruction. That Lucy couldn't even summon up any enthusiasm to hate Australia struck him as bizarrely sad.

She'd hidden herself in her room that morning, giving strict instructions that she was NOT to be bothered for anything short of an utter catastrophe. And he knew why.

It was the anniversary of her split from Amy, and she fully intended to wallow in her feelings. And quite possibly get drunk again.

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long.  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.  
All the little pieces falling, shatter._

If he was going to be honest with himself - and he usually tried to be - he had to admit that he'd initially been a bit glad when things hadn't quite worked out with the two of them. Naturally, he'd have supported Lucy in whatever she decided to do, but he wasn't quite sold on the idea of going straight. He had actually liked Amy, though, so he hadn't been able to bring himself to be any happier then that.

But after he saw what the separation was doing to Luce... Well, he'd been rather tempted to bring Amy back through whatever means necessary. But Lucy had said it was for Amy's own good, and if staying away made Amy happy, that was enough for her.

Love, Scud decided, made you do some pretty stupid things.

By tacit agreement, whenever they emailed, instant messaged, or even on the rare occasions when they talked on the phone, neither he nor Janet mentioned Lucy or Amy. That was another reason he was a bit sad not to have to be dealing with the Debs anymore - he'd liked getting to see Janet in person, rather then just sometimes on her webcam.

As if somehow summoned by the thought, his cell phone started ringing, a familiar number on the display. "Hey, Babe. I was just-"

"Scud, is Lucy there?"

He blinked, surprised. Janet sounded very distressed, almost like she'd been crying. And she'd never once asked to speak with Lucy. About anything. Ever. He'd gotten the feeling that they hadn't quite liked each other all that much. "Hello to you, too," he replied dryly.

"I'm sorry, Scud, I just... I need to talk to Lucy now!" She was definitely crying now.

Alarmed, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, what isn't? Scud..." She made an effort to get herself under control, then started talking.

By the time she'd finished explaining the situation, his jaw had dropped open in surprise, and he'd bolted out of his room, running towards his boss's. "Lucy!" he shouted, pounding on the door. Into the phone, he said, "Look, baby, just hang on a bit longer. She's-"

The door in front of him was pulled open sharply, giving way to an angry-looking Lucy Diamond. "What?" she growled.

In response, he handed her the phone. "Janet needs to talk to you."

Janet? That had to have been the last thing she'd been expecting, and it knocked her readily off her verbal tirade. Taking the phone, confused, she said, "Hello?" Of all the Debs, Janet was quite possibly the most unlikely (well, second most) to try and steer her into some kind of trap, so she wasn't quite sure...

"Amy's going to kill herself!"

...what... this was... about? "What?"

"She's gonna jump. Or, you know, fall, since she really can't _jump_, but it's really the same thing, so-"

"Janet!"

"...sorry."

_Shards of me,  
Too sharp to put back together.  
Too small to matter,  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.  
If I try to touch her,  
And I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no more._

Lucy ran her fingers through her hair, not quite sure how to process what was going on. "Why is she allegedly doing this?"

"I... I'm not one hundred percent sure. So far, Max's the only one who's talked to her, but-"

"Max."

"Yeah." A pause. "I know what you're thinking. But if you'd seen her face... This is serious, Lucy. We need you here now."

Even if Amy hadn't been involved, Lucy would have been amazed that the Debs were actually asking for her help. As it was... "Where's here?"

"New York City."

"Janet, we're not even in America!"

"I know. We can..." Lucy heard her sigh shakily. "God, I'm breaking so many regs doing this... Tell Scud to get to his computer."

There was a pause as the two ran flat out back to Scud's room. Once the hacker was settled at his desk, Lucy asked, "Okay, now what?"

Janet read off a string of addresses, codes, and passwords, which Lucy dutifully passed along to Scud. All the while, the only thing on her mind was the indescribably bizarre notion that Amy wanted to kill herself. She couldn't figure out why. She'd done what Amy had wanted, let her get back to her precious career. The Deb should be ecstatic right now.

Once Janet had finished, Lucy and Scud were shocked to see they'd been directed into the D.E.B.S. computer system. Lucy saw why and raised an eyebrow. "You're giving us access to your transporter system?" If it hadn't been Janet, she would have been _positive_ by now that this was some kind of trap. The Debs would never let a thief - especially one like her - get control of something that would let them commit crimes without ever having to leave the lair.

"I told you, we need you here **now**! We can change the codes later, if we need to." There was a brief, muffled conversation on the other end of the line, then Janet came back. "Look, I gotta go. Max and I are gonna try and stall Amy, but please hurry? Here, talk to Dom." Then came the sound of the phone being passed.

"'ello?"

"Dominique."

"Lucy."

Lucy didn't waste any time on pleasantries. "This is real?"

"Oui."

Out of all of them, the French one seemed her best bet on getting straight answers, without her breaking down and crying. "Why?"

There was a pause and a slight wooshing sound, as if she was blowing out a stream of air. "Apparently, because of you."

Lucy felt like she'd been gut punched. By a steam-powered piston. "What?" she managed to ask, the shaky tone in her voice causing Scud to momentarily flash her a concerned look before going back to work.

"According to Max, she 'as said she cannot live as she is now any longer. She is even less boring then I thought... though maybe not for much longer, if you do not 'urry."

"She can't..." Lucy repeated in a near-whisper, then louder, said, "_She_ can't? She's the one who told me to go! I did what she wanted!"

"Did you?"

"Yes!"

"Or did you just do what you thought was best for her, like everyone else has?"

"I..."

She got the impression Dominique was nodding thoughtfully. "I can understand why you did what you did. But if it makes you both miserable... Of what good is it?"

Lucy was silent.

"You can't decide matters of the heart. It is madness to try."

"Got it!" Scud cried triumphantly. "Okay, just gimme a minute, and I'll have you in New York before you can say-"

"No."

"...what?"

Aware of the expectant silences both in the room and on the phone, Lucy said, "Not yet. I need to make a stop in L.A. first. There's something in Amy's room that I need." To Dominique, she said, "That won't be a problem, will it?"

"The transporter will not set off our alarms, no."

"Good." She locked eyes with Scud. "That gizmo you were working on last week... Did you ever finish it?"

"Yeah, but..." Comprehension dawned in his eyes. "Oooh, I gotcha, boss."

"Good. Let's get to work."

* * *

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.  
Lie to me,  
Convince me that I've been sick forever.  
And all of this,  
Will make sense when I get better.  
But I know the difference,  
Between myself and my reflection.  
I just can't help but to wonder,  
Which of us do you love._

Janet wasn't quite sure just how much longer they could stall. Max had told Amy that she couldn't find Dominique, and had then left to 'go look' for her. In reality, she was calling Mister Phipps to let him know what was going on.

Whether or not that included the part about letting Lucy Diamond have access to their most top secret form of transportation, or even that the thief was going to be involved at all, Janet didn't know.

Amy's goodbye had been touching and very heartfelt, resulting in both of them ending up crying. But she'd utterly refused to let Janet get close enough for a hug, leaving her fellow Deb standing in the doorway to the balcony, alone and miserable.

The worst part was, she wasn't quite sure how much longer Amy would wait for Dominique. The two had never been all that close.

Trying desperately to think of something else to say, to buy more time, she blurted out, "Is that my sweater?"

"What?" Amy blinked, refocusing on the conversation.

"It's okay if it is, I don't mind you borrowing it. It's just that Scud gave me that sweater for my birthday, and I kinda like it."

"Wha- Oh, God, I'm sorry, Janet," Amy said, actually sounding it. It was the first emotion - aside from sadness and relief - that Amy had shown in their conversation, and also much more of a normal Amy reaction. She pulled the sweater off, leaving her standing there in a dark blue t- shirt that was a bit too thin for the chilly weather. She tossed the sweater to Janet, who caught it, wondering what she was supposed to do now.

She was answered by the trademarked double-wooshing sound of the transporter behind her.

Amy sighed. "I told Max not to bring anyone else." She shook her head sadly. "There's nobody else I want to talk to, anyway."

"Nobody, huh?" an eeriely familiar voice said from inside the room. "Well, what if I want to talk to you?"

Amy froze, with such a 'deer in headlights' expression on her face that, had the situation not been so very serious, Janet might have laughed. "Lucy...?" she whispered.

Lucy slipped past Janet - who in turn withdrew into the room a little more - and leaned against the door frame, giving Amy a tired smile. "Hey."

_So I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no.  
Bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe,  
I breathe-  
I breathe no more._

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

I hope everybody's enjoying this so far. *smiles* Oh, and just so you know, now all of my stories are like this. The next one I plan on writing should be much happier and fluffier. You know, for a change of pace. ;) I don't always write so many parts at once, either, but sometimes you just have to get it all down while it's flowing. I'll try to leave some time between updates for people to read what's there, though - partly so that they can get through everything without suddenly having another part to read, and partly so they have time to comment, as I'm a total feedback whore. *lol*

The song lyrics are from _Breathe No More_ by Evanescence.

(And yes, those are original comments from when the story was first written. Long story short? MY next story was NOT happy and fluffy. *grins*)


	4. Chapter 4

Title: De profundis (part 4/5)

Author: That'd be me. *grins* Andrew, Obsidian, call me what you want. But only if it's nice. ;)

Rating: I think this'll end up staying somewhere along the T/PG-13 area.

Comments: Wow, I didn't think this would be my first D.E.B.S. fic. But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so... Well, hopefully, someone will enjoy it. It is just a bit dark, so be warned.

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own 'D.E.B.S.' That belongs to the fabulously talented Angela Robinson.

Author's Note: Yep, I think this story is just gonna be five parts long. Not my longest ever, but not bad for my first shot (in this fandom). And I promise, my next story will be fluffier. Or at least, not so dark and angsty... as much fun as that is. ;) (Honestly, I _meant _that at the time, really I did...)

De profundis - Up from the depths (of misery)

* * *

She was gorgeous.

Not that this should have come as any kind of surprise. Indeed, on one level, it wasn't. But she'd somehow managed to make herself forget just how profoundly this woman affected her, especially in person.

And she wanted to throw herself off a balcony. After everything Lucy had done, had given up for her. Of all the ungrateful...

She knew this wasn't really the time to get angry, but it did have the welcome effect of knocking her out of her Amy-induced lustful haze.

"What are you doing here?" Amy asked, her voice distant. Perhaps she was in shock.

Better not make any sudden moves, Diamond. "Well, you know, I was wandering around and thought 'Hey, why don't I go poke my head into random hotel rooms to see what's going on?' Come ON, Amy. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Isn't it a little late to pretend you care about me?" Amy snapped.

Lucy bristled, but inwardly she was smiling. She'd thought up several possibilities for getting Amy away from the edge. Plan A entailed getting her mad enough to forget why she was there in the first place and come after Lucy.

Of course, if she'd really thought that would work, she wouldn't have made any other plans. But it was worth a shot.

Besides, her daddy had always told her to be prepared for anything.

"You're one to talk. You screw around with me for a week, then merrily head back to your precious Debs."

"I had to!"

"Oh,_ bullshit_, Amy! You didn't _have_ to do anything. You _chose_ to go back. I asked you to come away with me, but no. God forbid you do anything to harm your _precious_ career," Lucy spat.

Amy was silent for a long moment. "That's not going to work," she said at length.

Lucy heard a "What?" from Janet behind her, but ignored it. "Is that so?"

Amy smiled. "It was a nice try, though."

Okay, on to Plan B. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true," Lucy said, moving sideways along the wall until she reached the railing, making sure to stop a good distance from Amy. Not missing a beat, Amy repositioned herself so she could keep an eye on her and Janet.

"Why did you leave me?" The question, barely a whisper, was torn from Amy's throat painfully.

"Why did you ask me to go?"

"It wasn't just about my career, you know." Amy sighed, looking down. Lucy snuck a step closer. "That was part of it, yes. I'd worked very hard to get to where I was, after all, and the job itself is important. Why do you think I felt so bad for not being able to be what I was supposed to be?"

"You're not supposed to be anything but you, Amy."

She smiled sadly. "That's just it. I'm the Perfect Score. That is me. That's who I was supposed to be, but I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. So I just kept trying harder, only it never worked."

"That is NOT who you are. It means you passed a test. That's it. I thought we'd gotten that sorted out a year ago." At Amy's surprised look, she smiled ruefully. "You're not the only one who remembers what day it is."

"I suppose not," Amy said softly. "The other reason was you."

"Me?"

"If you'd kept coming to me, eventually you would have been caught. They thought you were a killer. What do you think would have happened to you?"

"Then why not stay with me?"

"Because they would have never left us alone!" Amy exploded. "The 'Perfect Score' going AWOL with the Debs Most Wanted? They would have never stopped looking for us. **Never**. We'd have been constantly being hunted, never given a moment's peace... I couldn't do that to you."

"Or to you."

"...no."

"So how's that decision working out for you?"

Amy was silent.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"That's not fair."

"No, what's not fair is you thinking that I'd want to have find out by reading some newspaper that you'd killed yourself. How do you think that would have made me feel?" Plan B seemed to be working okay thus far, but she wasn't entirely confident she could talk Amy down like this. So she mentally judged the distance between them, deciding how much closer she'd have to be for Plan C.

Amy blinked as something - something rather obvious, she felt - finally occurred to her. "How did you get here, anyway?"

Lucy flashed her **that** smile. "How do you think?" she asked. Amy felt a slight shiver at the tone, remembering all to well the first time she'd heard it. Even then, it had had an effect on her.

_"You are .. you know ... still under arrest"_

_"Am I?"_

"Ms. Petrie would never let you use the transporter."

"I'm not sure she knows."

"Who ca-" She broke off and shot a look at the nervous blonde in the doorway. "Janet."

"It was Max's idea!" Okay, perhaps it was a bit cowardly to hide behind her squad leader like that, but it was true! Besides, she was hoping that the simple fact that _Max_ had decided to bring Lucy into the situation would distract Amy enough for Lucy herself to do... something.

"Max?" Amy repeated, incredulous. As if on cue, Max herself appeared in the door behind Janet. "You?"

Max shrugged. "What else was I supposed to do?" She kept her eyes locked on Amy, ignoring the slight inching motion off to the side.

Unfortunately, Amy didn't miss it, either. "I told you to stay back!" she said, pressing closer to the edge.

"No, you didn't."

Amy blinked. "I didn't?"

"Nope."

"Well, I meant to."

"Yeah, well, I meant to sink Australia, but that didn't happen, either."

"What IS up with that, anyway?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes."

"Then go inside."

Amy glared. "I'm not that curious."

Damn. "It was worth a shot."

Amy hadn't missed that Lucy hadn't quite stopped edging closer. "Well, now I am telling you to stay back."

"Oh, sure."

There was a clicking sound, and Amy felt something cold on her wrist. She pulled it away, but the motion made Lucy lurch forward, and the latter grabbed onto the rail for support.

Handcuffs. She'd slipped up and let Lucy get close enough to put cuffs on her. Or rather, to cuff them together. And the cuffs were... sparkly?

No, not just sparkly. Diamond-studded. "How did you...?"

Lucy shrugged. "I made a stop on the way. I gotta tell you, though, that gizmo of yours does a number on the stomach."

"You get used to it," Amy said faintly. "You were in my room?" For some reason she couldn't figure out, the thought made her blush.

"Yeah. Had to do a bit of digging to find them. For a minute, I was worried you'd thrown them away."

"...never."

A grin. "I kinda figured that when I saw what else was in the box." The grin widened. "You were quite the little stalker, weren't you?"

"Shut up!" Amy said, smacking Lucy on the arm. She couldn't hide her smile, though.

So far, Plan C was going nicely.

"I still can't believe you used me as your thesis subject."

Amy sighed. "That was a long time ago."

Uh-oh. "So what now?"

"I get out of these, kiss you goodbye, and let gravity win."

"Why bother getting out of them, then?"

"What?"

Lucy sighed, brushing several strands of Amy's hair back. Amy subconsciously leaned into the contact. "Do you really think," Lucy began gently, "that if you jump off this building, I'm not damn well coming after you?"

"Wha- You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because... Because you just **can't**!"

"But you can?"

"..."

"Amy, don't you get it? Haven't you been keeping tabs on my criminal activities, like the Debs always do?"

"Well..."

"But it hasn't been all that easy, has it? Because there have barely been any. Just those that deserve it. Those that should be in jail, or dead, but the law will never touch. Because every time I even think about robbing another bank, or museum, I hear your voice in my mind telling me that it's wrong. I can't DO it anymore. A lot of the time, I just sit around, being miserable."

"No one's making you keep trying."

"Like no one made you go back to the Debs."

"So why was it okay for you to expect me to just drop my career, my friends, my life, to go away with you, but you couldn't stop stealing?" Amy snapped.

"Because it's all I know. And the only person who'd ever made me want to be something more had turned her back on me."

Amy flinched. "I didn't want that..."

"Then come away with me." Lucy held out her free hand. "Just the two of us. Well, and maybe Scud, but he stays out of the way."

Amy stared at the hand, hypnotized. "Lucy..."

"Amy, you're about to throw yourself off a building because you hate your job and your life so much. Why not come with me?"

"...they still won't leave us alone..."

"They don't care about me that much, anymore, and they'll just be glad you're safe." Lucy paused. "Because otherwise, we may as well both jump. I can't live without you anymore, either. So don't you dare try to make me." She hopped up to join Amy in sitting on the narrow railing.

"You can't know that," Amy said, despite desperately wanting nothing more then to take Lucy's proffered hand, to accept her offer. To say 'yes' this time.

"I do."

The deep bass voice surprised them both, making Amy grab nervous at the railing. "Mr. P.?" she asked, incredulous. Sure enough, there he was with Janet and Max. And Dom, she noted. The French agent had slipped out onto the porch to smoke, probably at Janet's insistence.

The thought almost made her smile.

"Amy, Lucy hasn't committed any prosecutable crimes in over a year. And most of the warrants for her have expired."

"But all the stuff she's stolen recently..."

"I, uh... I had my people start returning that before I came out here." Amy looked at Lucy in surprise. The badass master criminal was looking at her legs, almost embarrassed. "I figured... Well, one way or another, I wouldn't be needing it anymore. Scud should be finishing up the bank transfers now."

"You'd just let me go?" she asked, wanting nothing more then to believe it, but afraid to. Afraid that it was just a trick to get her away from the only other chance for peace she had.

"We can't _make_ you stay."

"Come on," Lucy said softly. "Come with me. What have you got to lose?"

Amy smiled at the words. Finally, she had a chance to say the right answer. "Not a damn thing."

Lucy - and likely the rest of the audience - exhaled in relief. "Good, because I've gotta tell you, I don't really **wanna** plunge... How high up are we?" She peered down at the street.

"We're on the twentieth floor," Amy said, also looking down.

"Damn, Amy. When you decide to kill yourself, you go all out."

Amy chuckled. "Hey, I didn't reserve these rooms- Whoa!" She'd ended up leaning over the street just a little too far, and overbalanced herself.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Lucy, uncomprehending at first, saw happiness swiftly being replaced by panic on Amy's face, as the blond Deb frantically pinwheeled her free arm to try and regain her balance.

Judging by the sharp tug on her arm a moment later, it didn't quite work. And now she really wished she hadn't been sitting on the railing, too.

Time, the little bitch that she was, chose that moment to speed back up as they both went over the side. Hearing several soprano and one bass voice shouting "Amy!" - and part of her mind wondering why nobody cared about her enough to shout **her** name - Lucy managed to grab onto one of the bars.

And either the hotel took absolutely lousy care of their property, she'd managed to grab the one that had rusted or become brittle, or someone up there just hated her, because the bar snapped off in her hand.

They fell.

_To Be Concluded..._

* * *

As always, feedback and comments are my drugs of choice. *lol*


	5. Chapter 5

Title: De profundis (part 5/5)

Author: That'd be me. *grins* Andrew, Obsidian, call me what you want. But only if it's nice. ;)

Rating: I think this'll end up staying somewhere along the T/PG-13 area.

Comments: Wow, I didn't think this would be my first D.E.B.S. fic. But the idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so... Well, hopefully, someone will enjoy it. It is just a bit dark, so be warned.

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own 'D.E.B.S.' That belongs to the fabulously talented Angela Robinson.

Author's Note: Yep, I think this story is just gonna be five parts long. Not my longest ever, but not bad for my first shot (in this fandom). And I promise, my next story will be fluffier. Or at least, not so dark and angsty... as much fun as that is. ;) (Oh, who did I think I was kidding...?)

De profundis - Up from the depths (of misery)

* * *

Perhaps this hadn't been one of her better ideas.

Amy almost laughed. Well, it was a bit late to change her mind, now. But at least there would finally be peace.

And Lucy would always be with her. That alone would always make whatever happened okay.

As the wind howled in her ears, and the windows and balconies of the hotel rushed by, she felt the serenity she'd had before return, after it had been blasted away by Lucy's presence.

Lucy herself didn't look quite so serene, muttering something to herself that Amy couldn't catch - she thought she heard Scud mentioned, but wasn't sure - and slapping at something on the handcuffs joining them together.

And then Amy's stomach protested severely as they were somehow pulled _sideways_, which made no sense whatsoever, and the howl of the wind was replaced by a familiar hum as her skin began tingling...

And they vanished.

* * *

_Lucy staggered against a wall, leaning on it for support while she tried to keep her last meal in her stomach where it belonged. Damn, how did the D.E.B.S. **do** that on a regular basis? Maybe that was secretly why Amy wanted to kill herself. So she wouldn't have to use that damned thing again._

_Thinking of Amy reminded her of what she was doing there in the first place, and of how little time she had to do it. A quick look around showed that Amy's room had changed very little since the last time she'd been there. That was good, it would make things faster._

_She quickly set about searching the room. Desk drawers, nightstand, under the bed... all revealed nothing. She tried the closet. No, no... wait! What was that up there, on the top shelf, way in the back? That box looked somehow familiar..._

_She pulled it down, ignoring the various items that she knocked to the floor in her haste. She carried the box to the bed, sat down, and opened it._

_And stopped._

Jesus... _Her own face, grainy and blurred in a surveillance photo, looked back at her. Pictures, files, one of her diamonds... The whole box was filled with Lucy Diamond. There was even, she noted with some amusement, the infamous thesis._

_And the handcuffs. They were stuck way down at the bottom, but they were there._

_She let out a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. _She didn't throw them away... _Hurriedly, knowing how quickly time was slipping through her fingers, she fished the device Scud had made for her out of her pocket._

_There had been a drug lord in Columbia that she had robbed blind about a month ago. Unfortunately, she'd very nearly not managed to get away, because she'd been misinformed about his security, and he'd had a powerful jamming field around his mansion that had kept her from signaling Scud that she was in trouble and needed extraction._

_So after she'd finally managed to get away - by impersonating one of his own guards and going off to search for herself - she'd made up her mind not to let something like that happen again. So she'd instructed Scud to design a transmitter powerful enough to be able to punch through anything, but small enough to be missed in case she was caught and searched._

_He'd done just that, making it smaller then a stud earring, and even making it look like a diamond, which had made her smile._

_It also had the effect of making it blend in perfectly on a certain pair of diamond-studded handcuffs._

_Plan D was ready._

* * *

Ow.

It was just about all Lucy could think as she and Amy crashed down on the floor of her lair. Thankfully, this particular floor was carpeted, and they hadn't had all that much time to gather speed, or that **really** would have hurt.

As they worked to untangle themselves, muttering curses inbetween making pained sounds, a celebratory whoop off to the side told them just where Scud was.

"What happened?" It was the first thing Amy could think of to ask. She could guess _what_ had happened easily enough - she'd used the transporter enough times to know it when she felt it - but not _how_. A quick check of her wrist comm had shown her that Lucy had not shut off her scrambling signal. "The transporter needs a signal to lock on to. It can't just grab people randomly, especially in a situation like that."

"I know. So I brought my own." Lucy grinned, feeling the adrenaline rush brought on by their far-too-close call, and tapped the fake diamond stud on the cuffs. "Just in case."

"Just in case?"

"You think I was about to let anything happen to you if I could **possibly** stop it? Amy, I've stolen a lot of priceless things over the years, but compared to you, none of them are worth a damn thing."

Amy felt tears in her eyes again, but this time out of happiness. Huh, happiness. She'd almost forgotten what that felt like. She was just leaning forward to kiss Lucy when her comm started beeping frantically, making them both jump.

"Son of a..." she muttered, hitting a button.

Immediately, Mr. P.'s voice started coming out of it. Because of her tampering with it to prevent the D.E.B.S. from locking onto her, she'd lost video. But that was okay.

He was speaking in mid-sentence. "-y, are you all right? Where are you?"

She considered just ignoring him and going back to trying to kiss Lucy, but that wouldn't be fair, she knew. Her friends must have been frantic by then, and she didn't want to worry them. "I'm... We're okay. Not sure where we are, though."

She exchanged a grin with Lucy at the sound of cheers in the background. "Geez, Amy," came Janet's voice. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"You're not alone in that," Lucy piped up.

"Oui."

"So you finally made your decision, huh?" Max asked.

Amy gave a small laugh. "Yeah, I guess so," she agreed.

"I'm gonna miss you," Janet said sadly. There was a pause. "Can I have your room?"

That got a real laugh from her. "Sure," she said, still chuckling.

"Thanks! And you two take good care of yourselves. Stay in touch!"

"We will," Amy said warmly. Lucy just smiled at her, reveling in the fact that she finally - finally! - had Amy with her.

Next, she could hear Dominique blowing out a puff of smoke. Evidently, it was her turn. "I never really liked you... but I'm sad to see you go."

"Thanks, Dom. Um, I think. I'll miss you, too." She shook her head in amusement at her French teammate. Ex-teammate, she corrected herself, feeling a little giddy at the thought. "Mister P.?"

"Yes, Amy?"

"Tell Ms. Petrie that I'm sorry, but... this is something I have to do."

"_Tell me yourself._"

She blinked at the voice. "Ms. Petrie?"

"_Agent Bradshaw, I've just been informed that my top agent just tried her best to kill herself, and was only prevented from doing so by the interference of a wanted criminal - a criminal who now, apparently, has access to the most classified form of transportation that the D.E.B.S. possess. As you may suspect, this does not put me in a good mood. Is there anything you can to add that would shed some light on all of this?_"

Amy thought about that. "Not really," she said finally. "Only that I love her, and this time I'm not coming back."

"_I rather suspected that would be your answer,_" Ms. Petrie said, resigned. "_I'm afraid I must insist that you take the next three months off to rest and consider what you're doing carefully._"

"Umm, actually, ma'am, I was going to just resign my commis-"

"_Agent Bradshaw, you just tried to kill yourself,_" Ms. Petrie said, interrupting. "_Evidently you've been suffering from depression for some time, as well. You're in an extremely fragile emotional state right now. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't accept a resignation from someone in your condition. Technically, I should send you to counseling and psychological examinations, but that would be difficult with you not actually here - and, I suspect, not nearly as effective therapy as what you're doing now. Amy, take the three months, and think hard to make sure this is what you really want to do. If, after that time, you still feel the same, you will have to undergo an examination, but if that comes up clear, you'll be free to do as you please._"

Amy blinked in surprise. That actually sounded extremely reasonable. It would also let her collect her belongings eventually. Janet would take good care of them for her in the meantime.

Especially her sweaters, she thought with a grin.

"Okay. I'll do that, Ma'am. Thank you."

"_Thank me in three months. Agent Bradshaw._" A pause. "_Miss Diamond._" The comm clicked and was silent.

Amy shut it off, looking at it thoughtfully. That had definitely been a surprise. But perhaps it shouldn't have been. For all that she cared about the D.E.B.S. more then anything else, with the safety and security - and image - of the agency paramount in her mind, Ms. Petrie was a good person. "At least she got my name right, this time," she mused.

Lucy stared at her, lips twitching, then laughed. Which, in turn, made Amy giggle. Which made Lucy laugh harder. It continued like that until they were both laughing uncontrollably, hanging onto each other for support.

Which is just how Scud found them when he came to check on them later.

* * *

Several hours after that, Lucy lay in bed, drifting. It had been a long, exhausting - mentally and physically - day, after all. But she didn't want to go to sleep, because if she did...

She abruptly snapped herself fully awake with a start, feeling a sudden twinge of panic at the thought that it had all just been some bizarrely sad, wonderful dream.

But no, there was Amy, sitting up in bed, her pillow behind her back as she leaned against the wall, legs pulled up, balancing her sketch book on them.

Her strokes were slow and hesitant at first, but they were undeniably there. Lucy smiled. Amy had told her everything after they'd finally stopped laughing, including about her artist's block. Lucy had been appalled at how much pain she'd been in, especially since it was pretty much all her fault. But Amy wouldn't hear of blaming her. It didn't matter whose fault, if anyone's, it was anymore, she'd said.

Which sounded about right to her.

So Lucy didn't tell her to put it away for the night and come to bed. Even though they'd already worn themselves out right in that very bed, she thought with a wicked grin. If Amy wanted to draw, then she would draw, and that was all there was to it.

She slipped an arm around Amy's waist and hugged her, already feeling sleep tugging at her again. She planted a kiss on her girlfriend's waist and said, "I love you."

Amy paused briefly in her sketching, then resumed with much more speed and assurance, smiling widely.

It was no real mystery why she could, she knew.

She had her muse back.

_Fin._


End file.
